I don't really #hashtag things, buuut I've used several in the past week and it's kinda fun... Friday I #hashtagged not once, but TWICE! The more important one was #whattaweek . And little did I know that the 'best' was yet to come! I also haven't spent time doing the whole here's my daily life stuff which seems to be very common in the blogging world. Here we go!
Let's review where I've left off: I had a cyst, had to stay home a bit; I returned to work, instructing yoga and personal training (/lifecoaching...) my clients. I visited my sweet Granny and spent a nice day away from the city. Then I ran around like a holiday maniac... visiting the mall 3 times in 2 days, not to mention several Target visits. And all this shopping was for... ME. For good reason...
I can't remember the last 'holiday party' I went to. So when my training company started announcing their annual party (which I skipped last year) I started getting giddy. Then the natural born procrastinator in me put off all preparatory pieces until, naturally, the day before. No. Big. Deal.
It turned out amazingly great. Gaudy red holiday earrings and all. I indulged, had fun, and earned some gnarly blisters that are still healing to this day.
The following days were fine, fun, and full. A bit foggy coming back after the exhausting par-tay.
Squeezing in visits and social time left this introvert feeling drained and droopy. Then the advice started flowing; not entirely unasked for, but tiring and overdone.
You know what? The voice within will always be the one you listen to. You may try other options, but let's be real. You do what you want. Which is what life's all about. Live and learn. Maybe that inner voice is sneaky, telling you what you want to hear, but nonetheless guiding you...
TGIF: Heyyy I got my CPR re-certification knocked out. That was a great part of the week, right? You feel so much safer in my presence, I know. Kidding, kind of...
Thank goodness for Saturday! Sun! And I was feeling adventurous in my still healing body so I 1) lifted at the gym a little bit 2) rode my bike for 20+ miles (first time in months)
Grant's Trail is nice, mostly flat, and car-free. Which allowed for singing along to my iPod, turning off my ipod and listening to nature, taking pics, and staring at the Budweiser Clydesdales. I felt so fabulous. And, I love my bike. I don't love many material things, but my bike rocks.
Boom boom boom. Sunday comes. Gah. My earliest day of the week, when everyone else is still sleeping, I'm getting up to go teach. I LOVE the Sunday class, I just don't LOVE the 'early' wake up. (I know it's not that early, but when you're a night owl, you're a night owl). I felt funky from the start. Unable to pinpoint the reason. I arrive and my mouth blabs something unnecessary; a retort that came out of my mouth without my brain OK-ing it... :( I immediately felt awful. WHY? Why does my 'mouth' do this? I taught a class, then took a class, and spent most of it trying to figure out my deal.
You know what it was? Energy. The 'helpful' advice from people all week; the realization of a seemingly good thing, also with nasty (false) accusations; the lashing out (over petty petty petty stuff as always) I received from a 'best' friend who I'm visiting in January. I had erupted. The vibes that had oozed into me all week exploded on this innocent being; a poor victim caught totally off guard. I had already apologized, and after the second class I apologized again and again. And if YOU [victim] are reading this, I'm apologizing AGAIN. My heart felt heavy, my gut felt twisted. And in all honesty, it wasn't a huge deal. This must say something about my passion for pleasing people and my dissatisfaction for any teeny moment that I don't.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.
THOUGHTS BECOME WORDS AND ACTIONS.
Leaving with tears in my eyes, I cried. I cried on my way home, cried as I put stuff away, cried as I got ready to head out to Castlewood State Park, my refuge in this big ol' concrete jungle.
You know what? It's ok to CRY. And I did. I cried as I did my trail run. Then I cried at the beauty of the sunset.
Awesome Yoga teacher Saul David Raye mentioned how as adults we create this stuffiness-- little kids get upset, throw tantrums, and a few (plus!) minutes later they're cool playin' with their toys again. When does this conditioning start? To tell adults to remain collected and not ride their emotions out...
Worth a ponder...
SO, CRY. SCREAM. YELL (in your car or in an open setting where you won't totally freak people out). LAUGH (uncontrollably). Whatever you feel you need to do to release trapped emotions, DO IT. Don't become that volcano ready to erupt (probably spewing on someone who has nothing to do with your situation).
There you have it... #whattaweek
And since I have a song for every second of my life, here's a good one by THE Steve Gold, a beautiful and wise man