Not my Holiday, or is it...

 

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What's a holiday? 'A holy day'

So I then asked Merriam Webster, what is 'holy'?

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A few other suggestions: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness … or  divine or having a divine quality...

I love looking up words when I'm searching for explanation as well as inspiration.  I continued to replace words: what is 'morally' then? 'Of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior.'

It's then that I realized how once again, life revealed quite the perfect experience for me over the past week or so.  Last Thursday was Thanksgiving, a holiday, or 'holy day', that I've honored as long as I can remember. A week earlier my parents flew in for their first trip to Florida to visit me! And within that week of difference, I got sicky sick, had final realizations about current issues, and rode out so many emotional trips that I am grateful to be out of it all and on smooth waters [at the moment].

What's this all mean?

Let me explain. I've been trying out this new job thing at an place I'll call a 'fitness boutique'. These places seem to be the next big thing in the fitness industry. I was stoked as this all fell into place! However I was quickly reminded that in any institution, you're only as strong as your weakest link. And it was becoming very clear that there were several thorny links that were going to cut into this endeavor. This caused stress. Lots of it. Something that as a yoga instructor, I seem to take on more than seems appropriate! I'm only human.

As my folks arrived, I was reminded of my past. Not in a bad way, but felt myself running through thoughts and emotions I hadn't felt in a while, bringing Missouri and new tidbits to process.

In the meantime, my boyfriend got sick. And as much as I honestly didn't think I'd catch anything, I got sick, too. I sent my folks on home, cramming in as many Sarasota-esque things that we could in five days.  Then the sick-bug crept in, knocked me off my feet, and threw my mind into a wild spiral.

There's something about being sick that makes me almost open up my subconscious. Maybe it's living on chicken broth and saltines.

Maybe it's the extra snot in the sinus cavities or perhaps, the influence of cough syrup drugs and expectorants that my body isn't used to.

Nonetheless, I was tossed into a blender for a few days and was awakened to feelings of anger and sadness; of excitement and intrigue. I received a text from a childhood friend that sounded like she was disappointed in my missing of a wedding that'd be across the country, literally, and on NYE. Starting over 10 weeks ago has left me with minimal money to say the least. I felt helpless in telling her that and even moreso as the conversation quickly ended on her end.  I was saddened at the thought of missing the family Thanksgiving [though I continuously told myself that it's just a bunch of sitting around and eating food that I had no appetite for anyway]. I missed a 5K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving and spent the day holed up on the couch.

Until I took a jog.

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This was my Thanksgiving 2014. The first picture at the top of the page is Thanksgiving 2013 on the rooftop my uncle's St. Louis condo building-- a very fun tradition of climbing to the roof and looking at the city and beyond. Both views stunning, but the beach. Really? An idea that seemed like just a dream for years.

As the day rolled on this year, I could tell I was definitely coming out of the sick and back on track.  I listened to Gabrielle Bernstein on the way back home. It was a lecture on 'Manifesting Your Desires'.  I shifted my thoughts and made it out alive.

As much as it seemed to not be my holiday [as last year, I also broke my toe and missed another 10mile race that I was registered for], maybe it is.

Maybe it's all in perception.

Maybe it was yet another trying time life presented to me to test my ability to navigate the waters.

Whatever these last couple weeks have been, I'm here today healthy, free, and happy.  I got fussy over missing a 5k and having to sit and home and veg out for a few days. And you know what? I live in the land of 5k's-- there will be more.  And you know what else?  I'd do anything most days to have a reason to veg out.

THANKSGIVING ISN'T MY HOLIDAY!

Or maybe… it is….

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Love to you all, hope your holy days were holy and morally good.

In case you didn't know, I've started up online coaching and fitness/yoga training.  I'd love to be your guide on the trips you have as such. Movement and mindfulness are my game, and you already know my name ;)

xoxo

Rebekka

 

 

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