BOOM. and just like that...

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 7.44.24 PM it's 2015.

Not just 2015, but over a quarter of the way through January.

But who's counting.

I'm not counting, but noticing and feeling how crazy fast time is going by in my 'later' years.

Before my very eyes it's been around four months since I moved to Florida. Around three months since I've started my job at Fleet Feet. Almost two months since my parents visited. Almost one month since our weekend vacay to Key West. And now one week from the start of the New Year!

But again, who's counting.

I'm realizing how much I focus on what's happening. Sounds great, being present and all , I know. However, what I'm also realizing how this perception is one that is distracting me from actually being present.  These thoughts also remind me of that phrase, "Life's what's happening when you're busy making plans." In this case, planning and also over thinking.  And thinking of me over thinking. Ah! Save me!

It cuts into happiness. It can create negative self-talk leading to negative emotion leading to a skewed perception of what's at hand.  Before you get worried about me, know that I am absolutely fine and happy, just a bit JK-ing at times.

What I'm not JK-ing about though, is the fact that I need to relax around the planning.  Relax around the thinking.  And find ways to be more engaged with the true presence of everything that is, well, present for me.

One MAJOR and OBVIOUS situation that I could fixate less on is one that seemed so amazingly perfect a couple months ago.  Funny how things change.  Yet, as things changed over the last couple of months, and not necessarily for the better, I continued [and still continue] to have this inkling of faith that "Things will change! It will all be worth it! It WILL work out." I aim to remain positive by default.

This week I also realized that there are still some bullies in this world! I tend to avoid those types of people but somehow a few, two to be exact, creeped in through the cracks.

They and the situation stressed me to the point of tears this week.  As I shared this with one friend in particular, I loved his reply:

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These words provided such a strong visual for me, like some sort of a factory machine that literally took in positive energy and spat out negative energy. As I thought more about this philosophical tidbit, I could see warning lights flashing and I felt in every cell of my body, a bold reaction of … " EW".

It felt wrong to even be considering ANYTHING that would CREATE negativity. And not just negativity but specifically in my heart, mind, and life.


Hmmmmm… YOGA! Where ya at?!


Funny enough, a day after I began penning this blog, I went to the yoga studio that seemed the most appropriate for me to approach as the first in Florida where I'd like to teach.

As I'm wrapping up my audition class, I see a painted wooden decor block kinda like the one below, sitting on the shelf in this studio.  I know I SOL [Smiled Out Loud… think it'll catch on??] because it was TOO perfect that of all of the motivational quotes they could've had at their studio, it just happened to be the one that was on my mind. The timing of this meeting of the yogis seemed SO right, as I needed to FEEL the total opposite of putting in positive energy and creating even MORE positive vibes for myself and in the grand scheme of it all, for you and for the rest of the world.  Screen Shot 2015-01-10 at 5.32.34 AM


In conclusion… I offer the evaluation moment of checking in with anything you've been positively pumping your energy into lately, whether it was over the course of last year or years or if it's been more recent… you can see it and physically feel it now at the mere thought … and in return you're receiving negative feedback...

Is it serving you in any way? Or as my yoga teachers say, is it life-enhancing?

You know what to do!

Follow your inner guides.

Trust your unique wisdom!

Surround yourself with life-enhancing people and moments and help to elevate the vibration of your world.

With love,

Rebekka

Not my Holiday, or is it...

 

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What's a holiday? 'A holy day'

So I then asked Merriam Webster, what is 'holy'?

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A few other suggestions: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness … or  divine or having a divine quality...

I love looking up words when I'm searching for explanation as well as inspiration.  I continued to replace words: what is 'morally' then? 'Of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior.'

It's then that I realized how once again, life revealed quite the perfect experience for me over the past week or so.  Last Thursday was Thanksgiving, a holiday, or 'holy day', that I've honored as long as I can remember. A week earlier my parents flew in for their first trip to Florida to visit me! And within that week of difference, I got sicky sick, had final realizations about current issues, and rode out so many emotional trips that I am grateful to be out of it all and on smooth waters [at the moment].

What's this all mean?

Let me explain. I've been trying out this new job thing at an place I'll call a 'fitness boutique'. These places seem to be the next big thing in the fitness industry. I was stoked as this all fell into place! However I was quickly reminded that in any institution, you're only as strong as your weakest link. And it was becoming very clear that there were several thorny links that were going to cut into this endeavor. This caused stress. Lots of it. Something that as a yoga instructor, I seem to take on more than seems appropriate! I'm only human.

As my folks arrived, I was reminded of my past. Not in a bad way, but felt myself running through thoughts and emotions I hadn't felt in a while, bringing Missouri and new tidbits to process.

In the meantime, my boyfriend got sick. And as much as I honestly didn't think I'd catch anything, I got sick, too. I sent my folks on home, cramming in as many Sarasota-esque things that we could in five days.  Then the sick-bug crept in, knocked me off my feet, and threw my mind into a wild spiral.

There's something about being sick that makes me almost open up my subconscious. Maybe it's living on chicken broth and saltines.

Maybe it's the extra snot in the sinus cavities or perhaps, the influence of cough syrup drugs and expectorants that my body isn't used to.

Nonetheless, I was tossed into a blender for a few days and was awakened to feelings of anger and sadness; of excitement and intrigue. I received a text from a childhood friend that sounded like she was disappointed in my missing of a wedding that'd be across the country, literally, and on NYE. Starting over 10 weeks ago has left me with minimal money to say the least. I felt helpless in telling her that and even moreso as the conversation quickly ended on her end.  I was saddened at the thought of missing the family Thanksgiving [though I continuously told myself that it's just a bunch of sitting around and eating food that I had no appetite for anyway]. I missed a 5K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving and spent the day holed up on the couch.

Until I took a jog.

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This was my Thanksgiving 2014. The first picture at the top of the page is Thanksgiving 2013 on the rooftop my uncle's St. Louis condo building-- a very fun tradition of climbing to the roof and looking at the city and beyond. Both views stunning, but the beach. Really? An idea that seemed like just a dream for years.

As the day rolled on this year, I could tell I was definitely coming out of the sick and back on track.  I listened to Gabrielle Bernstein on the way back home. It was a lecture on 'Manifesting Your Desires'.  I shifted my thoughts and made it out alive.

As much as it seemed to not be my holiday [as last year, I also broke my toe and missed another 10mile race that I was registered for], maybe it is.

Maybe it's all in perception.

Maybe it was yet another trying time life presented to me to test my ability to navigate the waters.

Whatever these last couple weeks have been, I'm here today healthy, free, and happy.  I got fussy over missing a 5k and having to sit and home and veg out for a few days. And you know what? I live in the land of 5k's-- there will be more.  And you know what else?  I'd do anything most days to have a reason to veg out.

THANKSGIVING ISN'T MY HOLIDAY!

Or maybe… it is….

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Love to you all, hope your holy days were holy and morally good.

In case you didn't know, I've started up online coaching and fitness/yoga training.  I'd love to be your guide on the trips you have as such. Movement and mindfulness are my game, and you already know my name ;)

xoxo

Rebekka

 

 

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Two years ago I ...

so it's not thaat exciting, but a little over two years ago, I blogged for the first time. Or should I say, 're-blogged'. After a failed attempt a couple years prior, I decided to pick it up again. And guess what. I slacked again! But this time, I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT, call it a failed attempt. I think my blog entries and the frequency in which I posted 100% fit my life since then. And here I type, a few hours past my bedtime, determined to spit some of this out RIGHT NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week (because the days fly by TOO FAST), but now.

I'm at a crux and have been at cruxes this whole year of so many points in my life: professional & personal.

Ranging in things that seemed like hurricanes of emotions surrounding choices in work to the amount of energy I was putting into friendships that could be deemed toxic in some occasions, all weathered me ragged.

"Yet they still allowed me to come through washed, renewed, and ready for more."Screen Shot 2014-11-19 at 6.51.16 AM

When those storms of change blew through and I thought it was smooth sailing for a bit, more tumultuous emotions came my way. And again, as gnarly as they were to get through, sunshine and rainbows were literally the result.

And seriously, who gets this many rainbows in a single week's time? It was completely surreal. IMG_5069


IMG_5254 Especially as I was traveling over 1,000 miles with my Mom to my new 'home' of uncertainty, change, and new beginnings.


Upon arriving, they continued to show up, even with my sweetie in the lower photo during our first weekend there heading to a friend's.

I saw these splashes of nature's sweet color as signs that I was following my path, staying on course even though it felt at times I may have steered wrong.

"If it were easy, everyone would be doing it,"

said an old friend when I was taking the leap about six years ago into my new life focused on yoga and wellness. And he's right.

And more DOUBLE rainbows.

Craaayyyzzzyyyy!

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You have to weather the storms to get to the rainbows.

It is perhaps the most uncomfortable, unpleasant feeling when you're 'in it' [meaning in the shit of it] but the relief and beauty that's rewarded for perseverance is incomparable. And not to sound even more hokey, but it's the huge piece of listening to your heart and gut, deep down in the core of what makes you you. 

Living life from this place is the only way to authentically make it out alive.


Wrapping up this very random blog post, I want to simply bring awareness to the current cloud situation in your life: cloudy days? Stormy days? Or are you on the other side with rainbows and sunshine?

Wherever you are, embrace it. Own it 200%. Trust life. Trust that what will be will be and all you can do is slow down enough to feel your way through. Heart wisdom. Gut instinct wisdom. And a dash of 'regular', mental intelligence.

Live on!

Love, Me

Part 2: a universal WOW

Where to begin… I'll start where I left off with the last bloggy blog. It appears that on May 15, I was experiencing a shift. And I rode that one through and through… and through again. The 'fun' part of life, is that the waves are relentless. When I thought I had ridden the last bit of one wave and landed comfortably in a new seat, making plans for my next year in St. Louis, a new swirl began.

Actually, it was more of a tilt a whirl swirl-- I felt like I literally was nestled into a comfortable, secure carnival ride seat. And I should've known, as with a true carnival ride, the stillness is only temporary. Right when I thought I was set, WHOOSH! I was spun 180 degrees to a new path.

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I'm moving to Florida.

What?! I know, right. Sarasota, Florida.

As I stated the other day,

My life is real-er than ever and doesn't feel real.

Word.


 

Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 7.57.36 PMAlmost one complete year ago, I had the same feeling of sharing,

Wow. Thank You.

Coming from author Anne Lamott, she suggests that when we pray [speak, wish, hope, manifest, ask for…] we're either saying help, thank you, or wowwww. I like this. I too, think that all of my moments of request can land into one of those three categories.

And again, like a year ago, I'm feeling a new wave of awe and gratitude.

Not to say I haven't been saying, 'Help me!!!!' either, but ups and downs… whheeeeeEeeEeee!

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Back to being real-er than ever...

Although this is a move spurred so suddenly by my boyfriend getting the job we were wanting for him to land within the next few years, I was reminded lately of a neat way to look at intention-setting.  Natalie Hornsby was telling me a mini Kabbalah lesson. Here it is in a nutshell for you:

When you go to bed at night and look out your window, no trees. You wake up in the morning and there's a great, big TREE! Does that ever happen? Well, logically, no. Because just as big trees don't come out of thin air, nor do big shifts in life.  We plant seeds of intention, sometimes for the same intention [mine's living a beach-infused, laid back, warm, lifestyle] over and over again. AND then we water those lil' intention seeds [in my case, lots].  AND THEN in the true course of life, they grow and appear one day, possibly when we're least expecting them [in my case!!].

Boom. And like that, the big tree appears and at the time and in a form I did not expect to see! The challenge then comes to finding comfort outside of the comfort zone.

I'm a clinger! And I'm having so many emotions daily-- I love the beautiful people I've met in St. Louis; I love my amazing parents and extended family, all in Missouri; I love the work I've done and projects I've been involved in here. I love that the city smells absolutely foul like dirty, brewery feet and that on my way to work I've gone from Kirkwood suburbia to nitty gritty, city living.  I love how the spring, summer, and fall are, well, seasonal. I do not love the winter. I love that I met an awesome man as he randomly landed here last early summer. And I love that now we're doing this thang together.

I love you all.

Nearly three years ago, I drove here, crying, worried about what I was doing moving from Columbia, Missouri to St. Louis.  I cried and cried. And it all worked out magically.

And now I've cried and cried and I know it will all work out magically.

I'm gonna go climb this big tree I created and tended to for the past, hmmmm, 29 years.

You're all invited to come to my beach pad, play in the sand, and soak up the sea breeze whenever you need a dose.

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Be the Sand Crab!

Life on and in the warm sand… ocean waves lapping to shore as THE daily soundtrack… living on local, fresh sea life… yes, yes, and another yes. My future? Yes, however currently the life of a sand crab. Seeking inspiration lately for a yoga class, I went perusing through my vacation photos of the Dominican Republic from March. Me and crabs (at the beach) have an interesting history. I remember my first beach trips with my parents back in junior high leading to me running and screaming away from the little crab holes in the open sand. Through the years, our relationship leveled out. With a new understanding and confidence (I am after all a GIANT to them), I learned to get close, stare 'em down, and giggle and their movement.

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Have you watched the things? TOO funny. In a world of land creatures, including humans, that move mostly forward and backward, these little dudes move sideways. Front-ish, backward-ish, but mostly sideways.

They act fierce until they can take your staredown or picture taking no longer and run away laterally! Insane.

Lately for me, I've felt a shift. Without going into detail, I can pinpoint THE exact day when I felt a 180 degree tilt; choosing a new path at what felt like a fork in the road.  And this tilt is all mental and emotional. That's truly all it takes to make a tremendous, VISIBLE change in your life. Thoughts to words to actions.

I've heard opinions for years, ever since I began to realize my dharma of sharing yoga with the world, on how to do it.  Very interesting when what I 'preach' is to create your reality, anything's possible, manifest, dream… and others are telling me how [they think] I should be doing this.  Admittingly a softie, I accept others' words and ideas, still not internalizing them because I know in my gut and heart what, when, and where I should be doing. And what I should be doing may seem completely sideways to people; not standard, and seemingly crazy (more like daring).

Imma be the sand crab. I've taken the intensity of the so-called giants staring me down, but I'm gonna move my own way down to the next patch of beach and you better believe my dreams are coming to fruition.

My advice from others lately and now to you: reclaim your power. Choose your path. Stay on it. Listen to your gut's and your heart's intuition. Your way is THE way. And sometimes you gotta scurry sideways and be the crab.

What/Who/Where is Worth Anyway? Part 1

What/Who/Where is Worth Anyway? Part 1 For weeks, months, heck maybe I've reached the year mark, I've been debating with myself, 'when to blog again?'. The even bigger question arose as I would ponder topics and continuously hear the 'itty bitty shitty committee' [i cannot take credit for that term, but fully support it] say, 'Booooo… not blog worthy'. So, finally today an even louder voice took over and said, 'Who decides if it's worthy? What makes it worthy? What does 'worth' even mean?'

Well, according to dictionary.com, worth = good or important enough to justify, or having a value of. What I'm deeming of worth today, worth enough to post my first blog in basically a year (WHERE has the time gone??), is in regards to life. The universe. And all the happenings here and in between.

Being a Yoga instructor, I mainly see roomfuls of faces and bodies ready for a physical ride. Envision a tree with eight branches. This is the Yoga tree. And of Yoga's eight limbs, only ONE is about the physical stuff-- poses of stretch and strength. Lately, as much as I LOVE the physical fun, I feel more inspired by tapping into the other seven.

What's swirling around us daily that we either neglect to see, are completely unaware of, or are too preoccupied to notice?

Sometimes there's a message to get. Sometimes it's easier to stay in cruise mode, put on tunnel vision goggles, and pretend that I don't know there are deeper rhythms to constantly tune into. And sometimes those rhythms become way too out there and instead of instinctual feelings and subtle hums, they turn to voices, auditory statements-- walking and talking cues to LISTEN UP.

Lately I've experienced my universal messages in many forms, including several walking, talking beings more than eager to tell me what's up and to also remind me to tune in to my intellect and inner wisdom. To turn off the tunnel vision and cruise mode and instead shine the bright po-lice flashlight on ME and what's happening to me and through me.

This has led me to question: WTF, Universe??

What's cool, is that ultimately it is a choice to cruise mode through the days or not. 'WTF, Universe?' is definitely necessary to ask from time to time and then notice the answer:  trust life. The answers are there, always, still in the form of life, of random messages, of letting go and trusting life, and opening up the feelers again. Of living from instinct and heart, and still being wise enough in the mind center to know how to analyze my actions, others', and to know when action needs to happen. Really happen.

Realizing that today marks a full moon in Scorpio (look it up if you're into that stuff) and that it's a time to look deeper, I now know the simple skimming of the surface of every facet of my life must now turn into deeper action.

Stay tuned for Part 2 . For now, decide if it's ample time to cruise or not to cruise. To wear the goggles or not. I know for me, blinders off and easy cruise now turning into strong, focused, push pedal strokes. Namaste...

Freshen Up Yo' Week! (And maybe detox from Cinco)

SLIDE into your fRIDEday DELISH! Originally from 'The Flat Belly Diet,' a diet several clients of mine have followed (successfully!) in the past, this water is SO good. The lemon and cucumber are natural diuretics, the ginger and mint aids with digestion.  Great way to boost your Spring detoxing! And get creative, there are sooo many other tasty fruits, herbs, etc that could be added I'm sure!

In a BIG pitcher (preferably glass) combine: 2 liters or 8 1/2 cups of fresh water (use good quality water, filtered if need be) 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated 1 medium cucumber, peeled and sliced thinly 1 medium lemon, sliced thinly 12 fresh mint leaves – spearmint or other

I also add a cut up lime... because I love lime.

WASH the fruits and veggies, cut, mix with water and enjoy. Letting it marinate overnight will of course allow the flavors to infuse the water a little more thoroughly.

Drink up!