Where to begin… I'll start where I left off with the last bloggy blog. It appears that on May 15, I was experiencing a shift. And I rode that one through and through… and through again. The 'fun' part of life, is that the waves are relentless. When I thought I had ridden the last bit of one wave and landed comfortably in a new seat, making plans for my next year in St. Louis, a new swirl began.
Actually, it was more of a tilt a whirl swirl-- I felt like I literally was nestled into a comfortable, secure carnival ride seat. And I should've known, as with a true carnival ride, the stillness is only temporary. Right when I thought I was set, WHOOSH! I was spun 180 degrees to a new path.
I'm moving to Florida.
What?! I know, right. Sarasota, Florida.
As I stated the other day,
My life is real-er than ever and doesn't feel real.
Wow. Thank You.
Coming from author Anne Lamott, she suggests that when we pray [speak, wish, hope, manifest, ask for…] we're either saying help, thank you, or wowwww. I like this. I too, think that all of my moments of request can land into one of those three categories.
And again, like a year ago, I'm feeling a new wave of awe and gratitude.
Not to say I haven't been saying, 'Help me!!!!' either, but ups and downs… whheeeeeEeeEeee!
Back to being real-er than ever...
Although this is a move spurred so suddenly by my boyfriend getting the job we were wanting for him to land within the next few years, I was reminded lately of a neat way to look at intention-setting. Natalie Hornsby was telling me a mini Kabbalah lesson. Here it is in a nutshell for you:
When you go to bed at night and look out your window, no trees. You wake up in the morning and there's a great, big TREE! Does that ever happen? Well, logically, no. Because just as big trees don't come out of thin air, nor do big shifts in life. We plant seeds of intention, sometimes for the same intention [mine's living a beach-infused, laid back, warm, lifestyle] over and over again. AND then we water those lil' intention seeds [in my case, lots]. AND THEN in the true course of life, they grow and appear one day, possibly when we're least expecting them [in my case!!].
Boom. And like that, the big tree appears and at the time and in a form I did not expect to see! The challenge then comes to finding comfort outside of the comfort zone.
I'm a clinger! And I'm having so many emotions daily-- I love the beautiful people I've met in St. Louis; I love my amazing parents and extended family, all in Missouri; I love the work I've done and projects I've been involved in here. I love that the city smells absolutely foul like dirty, brewery feet and that on my way to work I've gone from Kirkwood suburbia to nitty gritty, city living. I love how the spring, summer, and fall are, well, seasonal. I do not love the winter. I love that I met an awesome man as he randomly landed here last early summer. And I love that now we're doing this thang together.
I love you all.
Nearly three years ago, I drove here, crying, worried about what I was doing moving from Columbia, Missouri to St. Louis. I cried and cried. And it all worked out magically.
And now I've cried and cried and I know it will all work out magically.
I'm gonna go climb this big tree I created and tended to for the past, hmmmm, 29 years.
You're all invited to come to my beach pad, play in the sand, and soak up the sea breeze whenever you need a dose.